|
The MSFC Role Playing Game |
Choose your characters.
The Cast:
Shanti
Master of a thousand
disguises, Shanti has the power of Confusion. Affiliations with the Qem
and unidentified scientific sources. He is clever at detecting hidden
clues, but not so good at figuring out what they mean.
Carole
Certified Jello girl,
Carole has morphing powers and the general consistancy of Jello. Some
circumstances can make her turn into an evil alter-ego named Claire.
Affiliations with Jello based organisms, plants, and sealife.
Andee
Seductive mistress of the
night, Andee can tempt evildoers right into the sharp claws of her feline
alter-ego, a panther named Selene. Affiliations with cats, breeder
agents, and most alien species, notably excluding the majority of
Jonaiians.
Jai
Stray cat extrordinaire,
Jaicat emits sonic yowls that could shatter glass through brick walls.
She is proudly aligned with cats, Jonaiians, and all neuter agents. She's
also very good at figuring things out from the barest clues. A good match
with Shanti for detective work.
Alena
Graceful waif, Alena moves
from backstage queen to noble adventurer in a heartbeat! She has all the
moves, and affiliations with neuter agents and the wee folk. Sometimes
known to unexpectedly float on a passing breeze.
BeckyBee
She's so battle wise, they
gave her a medal. She chewed on it for a while and decided it wasn't
worth the effort, but this gal is a great addition to any fighting force.
Anna
Are your team members cold?
Have they no clothing? Anna can fix all that, and add elegance to the
mix, as well! She's smart, quick on the uptake, and has nimble fingers
for almost any task.
Zombie
Tall, dark, and undead, the
Zombie is ready to accompany our adventurers all the way to Hell. He's
affiliated with Jello beings and the undead. He can also shoot green
Jello pellets at red Jello beings. Do not mix with Dragondreamer.
Nate
Tall, and... well, tall!
The Ogre is ready to bowl enemies over with sheer strength, and a head so
hard, he can smash frozen hamburgers on it. Affiliations with trolls and
rocks. Few communication skills, but some puzzle solving ability.
Pjamms
Some people say there's
nothing like too much sunshine in your life. If you're Pjamms, however,
you're so happy you can actually bounce people to death. How's that for a
power? Sometimes killed by other team members for unexplained reasons.
Lydia
Lydia, with her strong left
hook, is affiliated with breeder agents and The Church. A valuable member
of any team for her cutting edge wit.
Bethweth
Psychic Bethweth can disarm
the opposition with her quick witted sarcasm and mental "bitter" vibes.
She also knows karate. Do not mock her. Or if you do mock her, be ready
to duck.
Hobart
The quietly competant
Hobart is a great addition to any team. He offers little in the way of
battle expertise, but if it's a computer, he can work with it... even if
it comes from another planet, or another dimension! Also known to wax
philosophical.
Chrissy
Much like the CareBears,
Chrissy can shoot rays of Pure Florida sunshine out of her bellybutton.
This is a great help against the undead.
Mlemonick
He may not say much, but
what he does say, counts! Mlemonick is a Bard, posessing the automatic
rank of poet and the power to mesmerise his audience.
Mary Elizabeth
This lady's seductive wiles
can be very dangerous. Especially when she's carrying a whip. She's
affiliated with the breeder agents.
Loon
This bird flies by night,
in and out of incredible danger. Her main attraction, however, is her
sparkling wit, which has been known to charm even the undead.
Heather
Watch as the Spleen Monger
earns her title, living by the sword! She is affiliated with the breeder
agents.
The Flying Chef
Hungry? You won't be for
long! Here's your personal chef, with a fully stocked kitchen, and great
aim with goo in a food fight.
Tinea
This little moth is more
than she appears, and she's an invaluable scout and verbal duelist.
Mike
Actor, Bard, dancer,
philosopher, programmer--Mike is an easy choice to round out a group and
shore up its weaknesses. His starting powers include the ability to
vastly increase a party member's strength in a short amount of time and
to swiftly pick up and improve skills/powers. However, these can be
undercut by employing his annoyance skill, which often activates on its
own. Creatures and party members on the receiving end of this power are
unable to be affected by Mike's other abilities and may turn hostile.
Affiliations with breeder, queer, geek, and performer agents.
Emmie a.k.a. Fruitbat:
Although she's as blind as
a bat in the daylight hours (without her glasses, that is), Emmie has
excellent nightvision. With her razor sharp talons she is quite an asset
when things get ugly. However, she is most definitely unfriendly to all
bugs, including some bug-type aliens, and is known to occasionally be
distracted by a flight of fancy at inconvenient times.
Other Miscellaneous Characters
Nicolette, Jim, Carly, Scott, Haley
Have you chosen your team? Great. Note: If you have Carole, Alena,
Andee, and Jai on the same team and you collect four Objects of Power,
they can cast a Circle of Protection around your group.
How to Play
Choose a team leader. This person will be the viewpoint from which you
approach the world, for as long as you choose to leave them as leader.
You can change leaders at any time.
The game begins in a house. This home base is the MSFC Headquarters, a
grand large house with special sections for each member. You can start
exploring at any time. Your travels will naturally lead you beyond the
confines of the building, and even the planet, as you meet aliens,
talking cows, bikini clad women wielding baseball bats, magical
creatures, neuter and breeder agents, plants that are trying to take over
the world, legions of the undead, talking cats, and other things that we
have only begun to imagine.
The object of the game is to go on an adventure. Have fun. Collect
information. Compile these bits of info into posts that you submit to the
MSFC as a whole. The better you are at finding info and choosing the
right combinations of facts, the quicker you move up through the grades,
beginning with Dull and moving through Student, Poet, Genius, and
Consummate Charmer. Characters don't die, they just get taken off the
list. The longer they remain on the list, the more power they accquire
for their particular speciality. It's a mystery, an action-adventure, a
fantasy, a story you create, and sometimes requires good hand-eye
coordination... like in the food fight.
Wander here, wander there, to Fairy Land, another country, another
planet, the local supermarket, or get lost in your own back yard and end
up in Hell... Thus begins the adventure of a lifetime.
Select players
Well, I'll take... and ... and for my leader... and... let's see. ...
and ... that should do it. I don't know if there's a limit on the number
of team members, but I believe 6 is traditional for computer based
role-playing games. So that's settled.
|
 |
|
| Shanti |
Main Hall, MSFC
Manse
As we stand gathered in the hallway, about
to embark on our first mission, we run through our equipment list one
final time. We've gathered the following items for our journey.
Jello mix (raspberry, strawberry, lime,
several unidentified
specimins...)
Magic Silly String
Dimensional pocket for storing loot
ACME magnets
Assorted Toons
Assorted Tunes
Assorted very small rocks
Jumbo tent
Mysterious crystals.
Gum
In addition, everyone has their own set of
personal supplies, according to their class.
The hallway is enormously long. To the
southwest is a set of
double doors leading to the outside world. The arches along the
northwest
side of the hall lead to the MSFC members personal desmesnes. Along the
southeast wall are an entrance to the shrine of Martha, the ambassador
suites, bowling alley, rec room, research center, and chaos room. The
northeast end of the hallway cannot be seen from here.
The party is standing around and fidgeting
a bit.
Your command?
>Look up.
Several members of the party look up, while
several other members
use this opportunity to tie together the shoelaces of those who are not
watching
their feet. The ceiling is so far away as to be difficult to make out,
but appears to be a stained glass window depicting the feats of various
MSFC members. Of in one corner, several lifelike depictions of Nate,
Nicolette, Carole, and Pjamms locked in a heated battle with something
resembling a living cheese. The main picture seems to be an illustration
of the entire MSFC standing in front of the Mansion, looking heroic with
weapons drawn, whilst on the horizon various evil being cowers in fear.
Looking at the weapons the MSFC brings to bear, the party wonders how the
monsters can be in any danger other than laughing themselves to death.
A small section off to the side shows this
to in fact be the case.
Many areas of the ceiling seem dark;
presumably these are left
open to depict future feats of glory the MSFC will perform.
The team members' necks are getting tired.
Your command?
>What is our mission?
The party seems to agree that they have no
idea what the heck they
are supposed to be doing.
Your command?
>Yell in frustration.
You let out a blood-curdling shriek. The
rest of the party gives
you an odd look.
Your shout has brought the rest of the
MSFC out of their
respective lairs.
Your command?
>Ask for advice
The ceiling you are still facing doesn't
answer, but fortunately,
the Spleen Monger was passing by and managed to figure out your problem.
"Well, you could probably ask Hobart...
with his knowledge of
computers, he might be able to tell you what the standard plot for this
kind of game is. Or you could try asking Martha herself for guidance."
Seeing you are just being your normal
abnormal self, most of the
MSFC retreats back into their rooms. However, Shanti and Nate linger
behind and are watching you for further entertainment potential.
Your command?
>Enter Martha's shrine
As you start towards the shrine, half of
the party trips and falls
on their collective faces. After a bit of laughter on the part of those
not having a close encounter with the floor, everything is sorted out,
shoelaces are fixed, and you step into the shrine.
Shrine to Martha, MSFC Manse
The shrine is a miracle of tasteful decor.
Everything here seems
to be hand-made, including candles, benches, piano, and even the image of
Martha herself, constructed from used tea leaves, hand woven grasses
pulled from the MSFC lawns, and something not quite ever identified, but
having a muddy texture. The party is struck by an overwhelming sense of
awe and a desire to move the furniture around. The only exit is back the
way you came.
Your command?
|
| Lydia |
>Address Martha's picture.
After a brief conference your team decides
to send forth Lydia to
address the image of the divine one, on the assumption that her strong
alliance with the breeder agents will provide some measure of protection
against Martha's potential wrath. She approaches the image and
tremulously
queries: "Please, great one, give this humble group of acolytes a mission
that
will further glorify Your name."
The response is immediate and
unsympathetic: "YOU GET YO' BITCH ASS BACK IN
THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME SOME PIE!!!!"
Crestfallen, Lydia retreats.
Your command?
|
| Andee |
>Give Martha the finger.
Another brief conference ensues, involving
several instances of hand
measuring to see whose finger will be the most effective. The conference
tuns into a dispute between Nate and Zombie over whose "fingers" are the
largest. Both are unwilling to settle the dispute the obvious way for
fear
of embarrassment. Zombie begins to taunt Nate with hamburger. In
frustration Nate stalks out, then comes back with 10% of Carole's jello
component, mixed with a potent combination of Dixieland Jazz and
Tchaikovsky, and lobs it with terrifying force at the Zombie's crotch. It
connects, and a mild popping sound is heard. The front of the Zombie's
pants begins to hiss with steam, and he lets out a deflated whimper,
shuffling back to his basement crypt to reconstruct himself.
However, this hasn't settled the question
at hand. Your team is now
shuffling around, in shock over the vicious attack they just saw.
Furthermore, you have just lost one of them. Fortunately you are not far
from where you started, and can easily pick another team member. You
decide that Magick and red jello isn't such a bad idea, and pick
Dragondreamer to join the team.
Hand measuring ensues again, but finally
Andee has had enough. Shape
shifting into her panther phase she pounces the picture and tears eight
long gashes down it before the shocked, horrified, but secretly pleased
company can do a thing. Triumphant, She paces away, knocking over a
perfect
flowerpot with her tail, and with a yawn, settles down at Carole's feet.
Your command?
|
| Shanti |
>Back away from Martha before she gets angry.
As you and your party escape the room, you
notice various sharp
cooking utensils had been gathering near the ceiling. As the last member
of your group leaves the room, you can hear... thunder? Followed by the
sound of glass breaking.
You are grateful to have escaped Martha's
wrath, but immediately
you become crestfallen as you realize you still have no idea what quest
you are supposed to lead your party on.
MSFC Manse, Main hall
As the rest of the team discusses their
near escape, you are left
wondering what to do next.
Your command?
>Explore
The rest of the team sits and laughs as you
examine a 5' by 5'
square of floorspace immediately surrounding you. You find some
rather interesting dust patterns. Perhaps you could be more specific?
Your command?
>Examine dust patterns more
closely.
They're not that interesting.
Your command?
>Have party spread out and look for
clues as to the nature of the quest
we are to embark on. Tell them to meet back here in an
hour.
After some consultation, several rounds of
"Rock Paper Scissors,"
some random finger pointing, head scratching and the like, the rest of
the
group temporarily disperses to look for something that will give your
team a little more direction in this game.
The team has entered various MSFC members
domains, but nobody has
decided to go outside, and noone is heading down the very long hall. You
consider that you should check out one of these two areas.
Your command?
>Flip a coin.
You discover you are dead broke.
Your command?
>Play "Eenie Meenie Miny
Moe"
You find yourself facing down the hallway.
Your command?
>Walk down the hallway.
MSFC Manse, somewhere in the middle of the great hall.
As you walk down the hallway, the entrances
on either side marking
the territories of the various members are replaced by cold stone walls
with nightlights placed in sconces at distances of about 10 feet. You
have
travelled what seems to be about a mile, and you still cannot see the end
of the hallway.
Your command?
>Grab a nightlight
One of the MSFC gremlins appears, turns all
your clothing
backwards, and reminds you that MSFC property is not to be removed from
the great hall.
You notice that having your jeans on
backwards is distinctly
uncomfortable.
Your command?
>Check the time
This is how you discover that you are not
wearing a watch, and
have no idea how long it is until you are supposed to rendezvous back
with
your team. Come to think of it, most of your team didn't have timepieces
either...
Your command?
>Proceed down the
hallway.
Msfc Manse, End of great hall
You walk about 10 feet forward before
bumping into something.
Since there is nothing solid there that you can recognize, mad images of
force fields and magic barriers run through your head before you
recognize
it as a simple mirror.
You turn around in frustration at having
come to a dead end, when
a voice from above startles you.
"You'd be wanting the next three pages of
the script, wouldn't
you?"
Looking up, you see a curious statue
embedded in the ceiling above
you. It had two fingers in its mouth and seems to be sticking out its
tongue at you. You don't see any living creature around, although you do
notice that the ceiling here is much lower than at the other end of the
hallway.
As you stare, the statue begins babbling
in pig latin.
Your command?
|
| Carole |
>Talk to the statue
The statue continues to babble, eventually
adding English
to its ramblings. You start listening harder. "...Optay Ecretsay, that's
what it is! But if I was amply rewarded, I might just be able to give you
a hint. Or two." With that, the statue grins and blows a raspberry that
leaves you coated in slimy grey statue saliva. It has a consistancy
similar to that of cement.
Your command?
>Offer the statue a
reward.
You empty your pockets, looking for
something to offer the statue,
but all you have are three rubber bands, a rough quartz crystal, a
striped
paper clip, a pill box full of something, a pouch with the label "Do Not
Open Unless Absolutely Necessary," a cat's eye marble, and a hunk of
rough
gray stone.
Your command?
>Give the statue the
stone.
The statue's eyes light up as you hand it
the rough gray stone,
and it pops the stone in its mouth and begins crunching on it.
"Okay, that was pretty good. I'll give you
a hint about your
quest. So anyway, there's this map that'll get you started among
Tinea's Tomes, in the MSFC library. It's between pages 26 and 27 of the
old copy of Book of Night With Moon. Good book, by the way.
Not that I
get much opportunity to read down here. Of course, starting is only a
small portion of the... hey! Where
are you going? get back here!"
The statue continues to shout as you move
back down the hallway the way that you came, eager to share your
knowledge
with the rest of the team. "You know your pants are on backwards! Idiot!"
Your command?
>Grab a nightlight.
The MSFC gremlins, far from being willing
to fix your clothing
problem, tie your shoelaces together and empty your pockets into your
hat,
which is now on the floor three feet ahead of you. As you lunge for the
hat, you trip on your shoelaces and end up sitting in the middle of the
hallway. Several seconds elapse as you put your various articles of
clothing to rights, cursing loudly.
Your command?
|
| Shanti |
>Return to the main hall.
You begin ambling back the way you came,
not at all in any hurry to return
to the group and report your findings, despite the fact that you had
specifically said you'd be back in an hour, and although you don't have a
watch on, you feel that you only have a few minutes left, and the rest of
the group might worry.
Your command?
>Sprint back to rejoin the
group.
You take off at a dead run down the hallway
and arrive at the main
hall breathless.
MSFC manse, main hall
The main hall is empty, except for Andee,
who is looking at you
with a peculiar expression.
"You finished early too, huh?"
You notice she doesn't seem to be wearing
a watch, and a quick
glance about the main hall confirms that there isn't a clock anywhere in
sight.
Your command?
>Ask Andee how she knows what time it
is.
It's very hard to speak when you're out of
breath.
Your command?
>Catch breath, then ask Andee how she
knew the time.
As you catch your breath, the rest of the
group returns from the
various portions of the mansion. All of them look pleased with the
results of their search.
You ask Andee about the time.
"It's simple, really. A standard feature
in a game like this.
You just say "status" out loud, and you'll instantly receive information
as to the time and date, your current health, how you are faring in your
quest according to your own personal view and that of the group, if
they're around, and some other general information."
Your command?
>Why didn't you tell me this
before?
You're startled to notice that the rest of
the MSFC has convened
as well.
"We wanted to watch you squirm."
"It's in the manual!"
"You didn't ask!"
"A little confusion never hurt anyone."
"Oops. Sorry."
You're not quite able to tell who said
what.
Your command?
>Status
What do you think this is, a computer game?
Hobart mutters something about MSFC
gremlins loose in the system
again and disappears for a second. "OK, try it again."
Your command?
>Status, please.
Well, since you asked nicely...
It is 10:54 A.M on March 18th in the
year of Martha 1662.
Your dignity has suffered a severe
fracture, and you are slightly
bruised from tripping over your shoelaces several times.
You are moderately hungry and extremely
thirsty.
The rest of the group seems to be in good
health.
You are almost completely clueless in
relation to your quest, as
is the rest of the party, but they all report information that could get
you started.
The weather outside seems to be sunny,
with a slight breeze and
moderate humidity.
Martha is currently furious with you and
your group.
Your command?
>Exchange findings with the
party.
The rest of the MSFC is returning to their
rooms.
Your report is met with some startlement by
the rest of the group.
Lydia speaks up. "I found a small dusty note under a very worn rug
in Nate's lair that speaks of a map located in the garden outside, third
petunia from the NE corner."
"There's supposed to be a map located
under a flagstone in the
great hall."
"And I found some information saying that
only behind the statue
of Martha can be found a map that speaks of our quest."
It soon turns out that every member of your
group has found a
rumor of a map that will guide your quest. Unfortunately, none of them
are the same map.
Your command?
|
| Dartt |
>Uhhh...what?
|
| Andee |
The rest of the MSFC looks at Dartt like an idiot for a second, and then
it slowly downs on them that he's new. Several voices chime in in unison
to try to explain that he is now in "MSFC - the Role-playing Game" but
of course with everyone talking at once, the message doesn't quite make
it.
Your command?
>Explain to Dartt the game and what
has happened so far.
You step forward and explains to Dartt and
another character that seems
to have appeared out of the blue named "Fruitbat" that they had just
split up to explore the MSFC mansion and haven't found too much. In
fact, they haven't even gotten out of the house yet.
Your command?
>Smack Dartt with rolled up
Newspaper
Sorry, you are currently out of rolled up
newspapers.
Your command?
>Ask to see the notes.
You ask the MSFC if you can see the scraps
of paper they have collected.
They do indeed all lead to different places.
Your command?
>Find the map behind Martha's
statue.
You and your team, minus Fruitbat and Dartt
who are still blinking with
confusion and unsure of their powers anyway, head back into Martha's
shrine. Opposite the painting of Martha is a statue of Martha, with hand
made angel wings hand plucked from real geese and a handmade wreath of
pine. The usual benevolent smile on the statue is gone, replaced by a
displeased glower. trembling in your boots, you approach the statue and
peer behind its robe. There is a rolled up scrap of paper on the
pedestal behind it. You reach for it, only to have the statue turn it's
head withan awfule stone grinding sound and glare at you with eyes that
have suddenly gone from white marble to glowing red. You screech like a
girl and scuttle back to your team.
Your command?
>Go find Chef-boy.
You drag your team around the MSFC manse
for a while before
locating the famous flying chef in the rec room.
MSFC Rec Room, NE corner
On second glance, this isn't a room, it's a
theme park.
Waterslides, bungee-jumping, a labyrinth, bowling alley, tennis court,
mosh pit... it goes on and on. Everything under the sun... except its
not. Despite the rooms immense size, it is enclosed on the top by some
sort of rippling blue material.
Nearby activities and objects include the
swimming areas, the rec
room skycar, the mini-golf course, the mother of all trampolines, and a
dartboard.
Brett is lying in the grass, apparently
contemplating the rainbow
produced from the spray of a previously unnoticed waterfall in the
swimming area.
Your command?
>Get on sky-car.
Your team members remind you that the
sky-car is a four-hour ride
(complete with meal), and you still have a quest to discover. They
refuse
to let you board.
Your command?
>Ask the Flying Chef to bake pies in
order to appease Martha.
Brett considers a second, then agrees. He
heads off to his kitchen to
begin, saying that it will probably take a few hours.
Your command?
>Wait for the pies to get
finished.
You and your group hole up in the rec room
for the requisite few
hours for Brett to surface with the requested pies. Andee, Hobart,
Konstantin and any other MSFC members with strong constitutions head for
the super helix roller coaster in the corner. Carole heads off to the
beach to play in the sand. You suddenly remember that you have no way
of signaling them back when Brett returns with the pies.
Your command?
>Status, please?
Thbbbbbpt. Why should we?
You scratch your head puzzledly and look
around for Hobart,
intending to report more gremlins in the system, but he's headed off to
the tree house with Alena. Instead you find Lydia still in the area.
Your command?
>Ask Lydia about calling back the lost
team.
She gives you a dubious look. "They didn't
tell you? Check in your
backpack for a comlink. once it's activated, it should broadcast to all
of
the MSFC."
Your command?
>Thank Lydia and find the
comlink
You thank Lydia graciously. She murmurs
something that sounds like
"Whatever" and heads toward a sign that reads "This way to Temple of
Eros." You don't remember seeing that before . . .
You next dig through your pack for the
comlink. It's a small
cylinder that looks a little bit like a cigarette, only there is a mike
at
one end and a speaker on the other, plus a button in the middle.
Your command?
>Sing "Henry the Eighth" through the
comlink to see if it works.
You proceed to do so. almost immediately
screams of angry protest
start to emit though the speaker.
"Arrrrgh!"
"What the FUCK, man?"
"I was trying to sleep, damn it!"
"What is your problem?"
Hmm, apparently it does work.
Your command?
>Radio Hobart about the
gremlins.
"Sorry guys. Uhh, Hobart, you know those
gremlins in the game
system? Well they're back. Over."
"So you turn the damn thing on and assault
our ears with unholy
renditions of camp songs to tell me that?"
There is a mutter of annoyed whining about
how people who uses
perfectly respectable comlinks in such a degrading manner sohould be
tortured and beaten, then killed. It sounds a bit like Heather, but the
signal's pretty weak for some reason.
"What's it sound like? Over."
Your command?
>Status please?
I'll be comin' round the mountain when I
come
I'll be comin' round the mountain when I
come
I'll be blowin your fuckin head off
I'll be blowin your fuckin head off
I'll be whackin' your fuckin' mind out
when I come. Popcorn!
"Hmm. Okay, I'll check it out. Over."
Your command?
>Head for the snack
stand.
You do so. It's well stocked with M&Ms,
Snickers, wax lips, chips,
you name it they got it. You stand there for a second. unable to decide.
Your command?
>Get chocolate chip
cookies
You reach for the chocolate chip cookies
and your pocket for some
money. The wasted looking dude behind the counter waves you on.
Apparently
the food is free. You open the cookies and begin to eat ravenously. As
you
yank out handfuls of cookies and stuff them into your mouth, you notice a
small rolled up piece of paper drop out of the bag.
Your command?
|
| Lydia |
>Unroll and read.
You unroll the piece of paper.
Astoundingly, it is a note from
Brett. "Finished the pies. Made some cookies, too. Hope you like them.
Meet me at the Martha shrine ASAP - there's some weird shit going
down."
Your command?
>Radio the rest of the
gang.
You pull out your handy-dandy comlink and,
dripping with
politeness, inform the group that their presence is required at the
shrine. There is an utter lack of response. "Guys? Guys?" you say,
louder this time. Nothing. Clearly a song is necessary...
"I met someone at the dog show
she was holding my left arm
but everyone was acting normal so I tried
to look nonchalant
We both said I really love you
The Shriners loaned us cars
We raced up and down the sidewalk twenty
thousand million times.."
"Hey, that was the first alternative song I
ever loved," says
Lydia, sounding slightly out of breath.
"Wow, of all the people who were supposed
to hear that, I didn't
expect to get a response from the House of Eros."
"It's OK. I'm all done. Let's meet up at
the shrine."
Your command?
>Run toward the shrine.
But then you get lost. Looking around you
see you are in an evergreen
forest which is interspersed with water slides and rollercoasters. You
buy
some cotton candy and try to radio (or whatever that thing is) everyone
else:
I wanna be a friend of yours, umm-mmm and a
little bit more
I wanna be a pal of yours mm-mmm and a
little bit more
I wanna be a little flower growing by your
door
I wanna be your grandmother grandfather
motherfathersisterbrother....mmmm-mmm and
a little bit more.
Anna answers and tells you how happy that
song makes her.
Your command?
|
| Shanti |
>Head back to the Shrine of Martha.
Lydia has already gone ahead of you, in
fact, you can't see any of
your team around. It is perhaps not at all surprising that you
immediately manage to get yourself lost.
MSFC Maze
You are in a maze of twisty little tunnels,
all alike.
Your command?
>Scream, find a MSFC gremlin, and bop
it on the head.
You try to scream, but all that comes out
is a muted croak. It is
at this point that you realize that you are practically dying of thirst,
especially after eating all of those cookies.
Your attempts to locate a MSFC gremlin
fail miserably.
I see no gremlin to bop here.
Your command?
>Use the comlink to call for help.
You use the comlink, and within a few
minutes Shanti has arrived,
led you out of the maze, laughed at your silliness for getting lost in
the
rec room again (for indeed, you were lost in the rec room maze) and
returned to his lair to ponder whatever it is Shantis ponder.
Your command?
>Find a drink.
You manage with only moderate difficulty to
find and use a water
fountain. As you are drinking, the water fountain squirts into your
eyes.
as you are temporarily blinded, you hear a small clinking sound.
Your command?
>Blink away water, and search the
area.
You find a small curiously engraved token,
probably made out of
pewter. You can't make out what the engravings are of.
Your command?
>Get token.
Taken.
Your command?
>Return to Martha's
shrine.
This time you make the journey without
mishap.
Martha's Shrine, MSFC Manse
The other members of your party have been
waiting impatiently for quite
some time now. You can see an impressive array of pies arranged before
Martha's statue, and apparently one of your party has figured out how to
repair the gashes in Martha's picture.
Your command?
>Status
No. You didn't say the magic word.
Your command?
>Status, please?
See? Being polite does work.
It is 4:23 P.M on March 18th in the year
of Martha 1662.
Your dignity has suffered a critical blow.
If it isn't healed
soon, you will be unable to lead the group. You are slightly
bruised from tripping over your shoelaces several times.
You are slightly hungry and not at all
thirsty.
The rest of the group seems to be in good
health but bad temper,
probably because they've been forced to wait for you.
You are almost completely clueless as to
your quest.
The weather outside seems to be overcast,
and almost unnaturally
still.
Martha is currently tolerant of you and
your group.
Your command?
>Address Martha and ask her if it is
OK to take the map now.
Martha says that she will agree on
condition that Andee is not
involved in the quest to be undertaken.
Your command?
>Point out that this isn't
fair.
Martha politely but firmly points out that
she doesn't give a
damn; she's not letting someone who defaced her picture to quest for her.
Your command?
>Pout.
Martha relents enough to permit Andee to
quest, provided that on
completion of the quest, Andee must spend 24 hours redecorating Martha's
shrine.
Your command?
>Agree, and take the
map.
As you reach for the map, you have a
horrible thought: each
party member located a map, and this was only one of them. What if it is
not the correct one?
Your command?
>Ask Martha if the map you are holding
is correct.
Martha gently explains that all of the maps
are correct. You
didn't think there would only be one quest available to you, did you?
Your command?
>Thank Martha and return to the great
hall. Then, open the map and read it.
You thank Martha politely and reenter the
great hall. As your
party members crowd around, you unroll a map of the lands east of the
MSFC
manse, with a curious symbol etched over a small pass through teh
butterscotch hills. There are arrows scattered all over the map, none of
them arranged in any sensible fashion that you can detect. At the bottom
of the map is a limerick:
There was a young drofnork from Klay
Who grommeled and grubbed every day
He'd klanu his stan
and eat lots of flan
So beware of his toediddy ray!
Your entire party is completely and utterly
baffled.
Your command?
>Who am I?
You are Xena, warrior princess.
Your command?
>Get out Gremlin spray and start
hunting.
Unfortunately, you're fresh out of
anti-MSFC gremlin spray.
Fortunately gremlins have never been among the brightest of creatures
(merely mischievious) and the threat alone is enough to send them
squealing into the darkness.
Your command?
>Who am I, and who is in my party
right now?
You are Chrissy, sunshine girl
extraordinaire.
Currently your party includes yourself,
Dragondreamer, Lydia,
Mlemonick, Nate, and Loon.
Your command?
>Summon the rest of the MSFC to try to
figure out what the heck the map means.
The rest of the MSFC arrives in the great
hall and looks at you
expectantly.
Your command?
|
| Andee |
>Show them the map and try to look as blank as
possible
You show them the map with your best "huh?"
expression carefully
arranged across your face. They all lean forward to peer at it.
"Huh huh, Weird."
"Doesn't make much sense, does it?"
"uhhh, what?"
"Hmm."
You don't think this is going anywhere
fast. Then Dragondreamer
brightens up, runs back to her room and returns with a fat book of signs
and symbols, rapidly flipping through the pages. "A-ha!"
The rest of the group now has "Huh?" expessions on their faces.
Your command?
>Ask Dragondreamer what she's
found.
"What'd you find? What'd you find? huh
huh?"
"I found the sigel in the mountains. It's
an ancient sign for
earth, but was often used to indicate the hiding places of something of
great importance, or of great value."
An excited buzz goes through the group.
They all look at you
expectantly.
Your command?
>Ask your group whether they're ready
to go
"Are we ready to go then?"
Lydia makes a face. "Er, sorry guys. I
can't go mountain hopping
just yet. Maybe after boot camp." She retires. Meanwhile Nate has also
drifted off, murmuring something about cold hamburger. Dragon dreamer
says
she'll go, but to wait a moment for her to get her inhaler. Loon and
Mlemonick don't seem to be going anywhere.
Your command?
>ask the gathered MSFC if anyone wants
to go
You turn to the rest and notice that a good
deal of them are now
missing. Andee, The Zombie, Fruitbat, Carly, Jim, Pjamms, Bethweth and
Bee
seem to still be here. Carly and Jim are scratching their heads and
looking pretty damned confuzzled. Finally Fruitbat volunteers, followed
by
The Zombie. The rest of the crowd disperses into their various rooms.
Your command?
>Status, please?
Well, it's forty below and I don't give a
fuck
Gotta heater in my truck and I'm off to
the rodeoooooo . . .
Your command?
>brandish imaginary gremlin
spray
You do so. squeaks of fright are emmitted
from the walls and then
quiet.
Your command?
>Status, please?
It is 5:10 P.M on March 18th in the year
of Martha 1662.
Your dignity is mostly healed. you should
only have minor problems
leading your group. You are still slightly bruised from tripping over
your shoelaces earlier.
You are slightly hungry and a bit thirsty.
The rest of the group seems to be in good
health and temper, but
they are impatient to be off on the quest.
You have a reasonably vague idea as to
your quest.
The weather outside is overcast, with a
threat of rain.
Martha is currently pleased with you and
your group, but wants you
to get started soon.
Your command?
>ask if everyone is ready to
go
"Are we ready yet?"
There is a scramble as your group scatters
in several different
directions. Some go to their rooms for provisions, wheich they drop at
your feet before running off towards the bathroom. You realize that it's
been an awful long time since you've been to the can yourself.
Your command?
>join the bathroom line
You get on line for the bathroom, standing
behind the Zombie.
Unfortunately, he has chosen that exact moment to test his biomethane
bomb. Everyone within a 20 foot radius goes down a health point.
"Oops. Sorry. Accident."
Your command?
>go find a different
bathroom
There is one on the other end of the great
hallway. you set off at
a leisurely jog an in a couple of minutes, reach it. There is a sign on
the door saying "Out of Odor. Please come again. It's in gremlin
handwriting.
Your command?
>Ignore the sign and enter the
bathroom
Bathroom #4, MSFC Manse
You enter a bathroom that should rightly be
called a palace. It is
done in slate blue and gold, the lighting is soft. There is ambient
electronica playing. In the center is a jacuzzi, along one wall a three
person bathtub, huge shower, steam room. along the other is the sink, the
hair and makeup station, massage chair. on the third wall there is a
magazine stand. You hurriedly take care of your calls of nature. As you
are washing your hands, you look up into the wall sized bathroom mirror
and see not only your reflection but an ethereal female being as well.
Your command?
>turn around quickly
You turn around. Nope. She's just in the
mirror. "Hello," she
says.
Your command?
>Address the figure
|
| Jaicat |
"Your name wouldn't happen to be Ozma,
would it?" you say
incredulously. You knew that the MSFC Manse doesn't function completely
in the realm of reality, but being in Oz would be too good to be true.
"If I were Ozma, I'd be out of here
already."
"Then who are you?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you,"
she said coyly.
You consider brandishing the gremlin spray
again, since you're
getting rather frustrated with the fact that no one ever seems to give
you
a straight answer. It's time to stop putzing around. You turn to leave.
"Wait!"
You hesitate, but don't turn back.
"Wanna take a shortcut?"
You turn. "A shortcut?"
"Right through the mirror."
Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Can
anything in the MSFC
Manse really be trusted? "A shortcut where?"
"Through the mirror."
"No, where does the shortcut go?"
"Right through this mirror, can't you see
it?"
"I want to know where I'll end up," you
say, feeling more
pugnacious and wondering how one can throttle a mirror image.
"I'm not a fortune teller."
Frustrated, you try second grade tactics.
"I'm not a fortune
teller," you repeat, whining and making faces.
"Stop that!"
"Stop that!" You wriggle your butt at
her.
"Knock it off, that's not funny!"
"Knock it off, that's not funny!" Oh, yes
it is. You're still
waving your butt around, and you've even made up a little sidestep dance
move up to go with it.
"What did I ever do to you?"
"What did I..." You realize that the
image sounded funny on that
last one, and turn around. A new scene is forming on the mirror (a
streambed), and the ethereal figure barely even has an outline. "What's
going on?"
The scene fades, and the figure comes
back.
"Nothing."
You eye her. "Nothing."
"Don't."
"Why not? What happens when I say what
you say? Why are you in
there?"
"Why should I tell you?"
You need help, obviously. You decide to
leave the bathroom and
find the group, hoping that someone will be able to decipher what's going
on in here.
Your command?
>Exit bathroom, find
others.
Main Hall, MSFC Manse
You find them where you left them, only now
the pile of stuff they
plann on taking is almost hip high. You spot Jai running back and forth
adding to the pile.
"Jai! You're coming on this trip?"
"Nope!"
"....what are you DOING!!!!!"
"Adding stuff!"
"WHY!!!!"
She just laughs and runs away. To give
her the benefit of the
doubt, you look down at the pile to see whether or not the stuff she's
been adding is at least useful. You see a feather boa. Hmmmm... does
goblin spray work on neuters?
Your command?
>Tell the group what just happened in
the bathroom.
They all agree that it's pretty weird.
You're about to call
Status to review which players have excellent problem solving abilities
when Jai runs in again and dumps ten deodorant sticks and two taffy bars
on the pile.
Your command?
>Run after Jai with the chocolate that
you spy on the pile.
Jai shrieks, and you both take off down the
corridors. You manage
to rub some chocolate on her arm before she gets away.
Your command?
|
| Andee |
>Look around
You do. You seem to be in a corridor you
don't recognise, somewhere in the
northwest of the house. doors line both sides of the corridor, and you
notice cheerful wall sconces flickering beside every door. You seem to be
in the Guest sector of the MSFC Manse, which would explain why it seems
an
awful lot like you entered a dimensional warp and wound up at the local
Holiday Inn.
Your command?
>Explore
You begin opening and closing doors to find
that each room in the guest
quarter is different. There is an office type room with two working
computers and a television that is currently blaring CNN. Another is just
computers and a big screen TV which is currently blaring Ren and Stimpy.
You deduce that this is where the MSFC sticks Jim and Mlemonick on their
visits. other rooms are different - one is all windows, one is draped in
velvet and strwen with unlit candelabra, one for some unexplained reason
has a jacuzzi filled with purple jello. A crumpled pink string bikini is
lying next to it.
Your command?
>Find the others
You rejoin your group in the main hallway.
To your ultimate dismay, the
pile of stuff is now at the point that in order to add anything to it,
one
must run upstairs to the catwalk on the second floor of the main hall and
sling things at it from there. You see that Jai, the Zombie and Shanti
have rigged up a catapult at one end of the hall and are slinging
balloons
filled with Pez at the pile and laughing hysterically.
Your command?
>Scream
You let out a bloodcurdling shriek.
Everyone in the hall stops and looks
at you dubiously.
Your command?
|
| Shanti |
>Apprehend the causes of this...
unpleasantness.
You stalk across the main hall in a black
fury. As you approach
the trio of culprits, thunder echoes eerily with your every step and
lightning plays around just above your head. As you get even closer, the
air around your soon-to-be-victims darkens and turns chill. By now, Jai
and the Zombie have abandoned the catapult and are looking for a place to
hide. Shanti is staring you and doing a good imitation of a deer in
headlights.
Your command?
>Grab the Zombie
As you attempt to pick up the Zombie by the
front of his shirt,
you feel something wet and sticky in your hand. As you let go in
disgust,
you find yourself holding abit of rotting flesh mixed with green jell-o.
When you turn back, the Zombie is nowhere to be seen.
Your command?
>Tackle Jai and force her to clean up
the mess.
Having seen your attempt on the Zombie, Jai
is prepared for you.
You quickly discover that Jai is far too nimble to be caught in this
fashion. She easily evades your attempts to capture her, and you notice
that somehow she has managed to add 17 croissants, 3 potted geraniums, a
set of genuine chain mail fitted for a female dwarf of no more than 2.5
feet in height, and something that suspiciously resembles the Batmobile
to
the pile. Currently she is organizing the MSFC gremlins into making
demeaning caricatures of you behind your back.
Your command?
>Capture Shanti and make him pay for
his mistake.
As you approach Shanti, he looks more and
more frightened, until
suddenly a crafty look enters his eyes. You see him whisper something
you
can't quite make out.
Then, the world changes around you. You
feel extremely
disoriented, and from what you can tell, the world around you has
suddenly
abandoned all pretense at being logical. The walls of the manse waver
strangely as if resisting an unusual force, the pile undergoes a series
of
transformations before your eyes before evaporating into an enormous
cloud
of airborne glitter. The catapult becomes in turn a rhinocerous, a
strange 6-legged creature with deep violet eyes, a breadbox, and a
watermelon before rolling off into a corner. The objects around you
quickly stop changing, and you can see that further off things have not
been affected at all. Within seconds, everything inanimate has at least
stabilized, although most of the objects are not what they used to be.
Unfortunately, you still feel very
confused. As does everyone
else in the room, with the exception of Jai, who is obliviously teaching
the gremlins the words to "The Song that Never Ends" so that they can
flit
around your head singing it. Endlessly. Fortunately, her efforts
are hampered by the fact that the gremlins are all quite confused
now. Also, Shanti is no longer to be found.
Your command?
>Ask what just happened
You attempt to ask what just went down, but
your mind is still a
little woozy...What actually comes out is: "Wherefore are all my radishes
yolked?"
You get a flurry of responses:
"Blue gnomes."
"Twinkie?"
"Ripened rodents roll rags."
"Onions polite?"
"Well, waht else would one do with
radishes, except eat them? Or
fling them in a food fight... of course..." This last voice is Jai's,
who
continues babbling in this vein for a while.
Your command?
>Ask Jai what just
happened
"Frothy Q-bert ringing Chlorine?" You
manage to get out.
Jai looks at you strangely, and then
suggests you wait five
minutes for the effects to wear off.
Your command?
>Wait
You idly wait for about half a second.
Your command?
>Wait for 299.5 seconds
As you wait, you notice that with the
exception of the pile and the
catapult, everything in the room has reverted to its pre-event state.
Your command?
>Ask Jai what happened
again.
You seem to be able to speak normally. Jai
tells you to wait a
second, and goes back to what she was doing, which is rolling the
catapult-turned watermelon in the now mostly settled pile of glitter.
After a moment, she rolls the watermelon over to your feet, produces a
knife from nowhere, deftly carves it into pieces, and serves the entire
gathered group.
Finally, she answers. "Well, you were
threatening him, so he
invokes his power and used it to escape."
Your command?
>Eat the watermelon.
You feel wonderfully restored as you
consume the fruit and are now
in perfect health.
Your command?
>Ask Jai why she wasn't
affected.
"In all likelihood, he probably excluded me
from the effects. For
some bizarre reason whenever he tries to cause confusion in me there is a
good chance the effects will be reflected back to himself."
Your command?
>Invoke my own power.
You attempt to invoke your own power, but
don't really know how to
go about it. At this time, floating letters appear before you:
"Your command is improperly phrased. See
the manual for help on invoking
powers."
Beneath the letters appear several
floating buttons -- one marked "help,"
one marked "close," and one marked "do not push."
Your command?
|
Back to Collaborative Fantasy
|
© 1996-2004 The MSFC
msfc@dragonsea.net |
|
